Does your personality make you vulnerable to Imposter Syndrome?

You’re a pillar of strength.  Nay – let’s go bigger and make you a tower of strength.  Having strengths feels good.   And so it should.

Growing our strengths is important.  But your strengths can also undermine your success?

When our strengths are working for us, they can take us to places we’d never imagine.

But strengths that are overplayed or strengths that we rely on too much to get us through life can feed those feelings of Imposter Syndrome.  

Rather than supporting and moving us forward they take us into a world of self-sabotage.

Unleashing your potential

Every day, every hour you’re faced with a series of choices.   Your brain doesn’t have time to deliberate every one of them, to present you with options to sit, ponder and decide.

And it’s not that great at figuring out the relative importance of one question from another.

So to counteract that it uses pattern recognition – have I seen this thing before, do I know what I usually do in these circumstances, am I sensing danger in doing the same thing again.

It why you always pick from the same range of sandwich options when you’re in a rush and your mind goes into a spin when someone tells you one of the ingredients you rely on is out of stock.

This is an amazing feature of your brain but also has one big downside – it will happily repeat patterns that are unhelpful to your overall potential and progress, often without you realising it.

This is self-sabotaging.   The fastest and most effective way to unlock productivity and your career potential is to learn to take your foot off the brake and overcome your tendency to self-sabotage.

Our dominant styles

There are many different models out there that help us to understand our default and dominant style.  The default is where we’ll normally snap to when left unchallenged.  In this article I’m using DISC as a model.  There are others, but DISC is easy for you to find assessments online and it’s an easy model to understand.

Here’s a link to everything DISC https://www.discprofiles.com/disc-styles/

In the DISC model there are four personality types.

-       Dominance

-       Influence

-       Steadiness

-       Conscientiousness

We’ll all have a bit of all four of these.  We’ll generally sway towards one or two. 

On our best days this is what makes us stand out and perform. 

On our not so good days, we can get in our own way.  That strength becomes a hindrance, a form of self-sabotage that undermines our productivity and performance.

If you’ve done a DISC assessment and know your dominant style read on.

If you’ve not done a DISC assessment then read the article and see what triggers for you.

Every style has its strengths and these can be tremendously useful.  But strengths that are overplayed or ones we over-rely on can become a problem as you’ll see here.

Let’s get going.

Dominant personality types

If your style is Dominant you’ll likely love things to be fast-paced, you don’t mince your words.  You’re happy to be outspoken, make quick decisions, are strong-willed, high-energy and forceful at driving things through.

Many leaders rely on this style.  Many emerging leaders hope to emulate them, but as we’ll see, there is a price to be paid.

If your preferred style is Dominant then you’re likely to be happy tackling problems head-on.  You don’t feat confrontation, after all who cares about breaking a few eggs when there’re a delicious and satisfying omelette on offer.   You love the thrill of breaking down obstacles and chasing success, even if it comes at the cost of a few relationships – they’ll learn in good time.

Lofty, ambitious goals are your core currency and you pride yourself on high achievements.

What could possibly trip up this productive force?   Your competitive streak can tease you into spending time watching the competition.   When there’s no apparent competition, you may get bored, distracted or become unfocussed because benchmarking yourself against others, knowing you come out on top is an addictive feeling.

That strength in aiming for ambitious goals without a plan to get there can also lead you into chasing rainbows.  Won that battle?  It’s on with the next and you find yourself saying “I’ll be happy when” and when never comes.

You can also get rattled easily and your confidence knocked when you can’t live up to your own high expectations or setting yourself up to compete with others, judging yourself by their role, rank or position.

What to do if you’re a D type?

Your perfectionist tendencies will benefit from a reality check.  Often people care a lot less about the standards you set than you do.  Getting a realistic view of success is likely helpful.

Find yourself a trusted friend or mentor to help you become more trusting in accepting vulnerability.   See feedback as helpful rather than a challenge and an invitation to conflict.   Pick the right battles, where your determination will benefit others rather than simply impress them with your ability to drive change through.

The irony is that D types, whilst looking very successful and confident on the inside, can actually feel uneasy, conflicted and unsatisfied on the inside.  They raise the expectations others have of them so when failure is a possibility it feels like they’re falling from an even greater height.  Praise and recognition doesn’t come easy, because Ds can always see the next greater goal that’s not yet been achieved.

Influence type

If you’re an I type then you’re sociable and talkative – wherever you go, whatever situation you find yourself in, you’re able to win people over with a smile, your warmth and confidence encourages others to open up to you.  

Whenever there’s a choice between a brand new experience and routine, you’re an explorer – bringing people with you for the journey, the glue that binds everyone together.   It doesn’t matter if the plan is perfect, you’re an optimist, it’ll work out OK.

Even if things start to go a little off script, you’ve a contact book full of people you can call on to get things back on track and you just know that things will turn out fine in the end, it’ll be a winning day and everyone will be happy.

Being this amazing social type is a strength but it can also lead to you seeing social approval as being the yardstick by which you’re winning or not.  You can become over-concerned about how others are perceiving you and find yourself expending lots of energy trying to ensure everyone gets a prize.

If you come into contact with a Dominant type then you may panic when confronted with people with obvious craft and talent and this can create feelings of inadequacy – that you rely on others to create success for you. 

If you come into contact with another I type, you worry by contrast that their book of contacts is bigger than you.  You may become distracted by counting impressions or likes in social media and straying from your true course seeking attention and validation from others.   You can often feel exhausted and overwhelmed trying to be everywhere, doing everything all at once for fear you’ll miss out on that critical social connection.

When I’s meet D’s, the I’s feel vulnerable.  The Ds dominate by showing off their talents.  The I’s worry that all they have to really fall back on is their large list of people who do things for them. 

And that creates a worry that they’ll be exposed for not being good at anything even though I’s are often the glue that brings disparate talent together and are masters at getting people to give unconditionally.

As an I type you are very sensitive to disapproval and even constructive feedback may be internalised as evidence that you’re not as good as others see you.   You may be constantly alert to other I-types in the room and living with a sense of inadequacy when others claim even small successes.

Because I types depend so heavily on personal relationships, their radar detecting how they are perceived by others is on constant and sometimes exhausting alert.  I types can be easily distracted by false reads of others, scanning for disapproval, disengagement.

The contradiction for an I type is that they can be outwardly friendly and effusive and appear filled with confidence.  But that confidence is staged and inwardly they are uneasy and driven into behaviours to please others.  Putting their own needs last.

As an I type then the key is internal self-validation.  Finding a mentor can help you see learning from mistakes as constructive practice for your growth and helping you develop a more realistic view of how your interpersonal strengths and your competences combine to make you the great person you are.

Learn to accept that you don’t have to please all the people, in every way, all of the time.

S is for steadiness

As an S type you are supportive, steady and dependable.  You are the rock steady person come to for advice and guidance because they know you’ll always listen, never pass judgement, the ultimate sounding board.

Although you may be outwardly quiet, you bring harmony, peace and stability wherever you go.  It’s not in your nature to impose your own views or values on those around you.   You work hard to bring others round to seeing alternate viewpoints and in tasks of your own, you find a way of accommodating and incorporating conflicting views. 

Everyone gets a little something of their own.

There are times when harmony, peace and stability just aren’t possible and you can exhaust yourself expending energy in shuttle diplomacy, being thrown off course when you cannot bring people round.   You see the failure to bring about agreement as a disappointment owned by you, that you’ve failed to live up to your supportive or dependable image.

You may also worry a lot about when things go wrong.  You spend a long time making decisions, fretting about the possibility of making the wrong decision and how to plot a path that will offend no-one.

Even when things go right, you’ll rarely accept the credit.  You know all success is built on the back of many and it’s not in your nature to accept the limelight.  In doing so you know sometimes others get credit and benefit from taking limelight that is probably rightfully yours but your desire for harmony will stop you from challenging this and creating conflict in the process.

You may become exhausted or find your energy sapped in plotting multiple pathways to ensure everyone is content.  In taking a long time to reach a decision because imperfection is hard to accept, you sometimes find others get on and do things anyway, seeing you as slow and indecisive.   And this sows seeds of self-doubt and feelings of incompetency.

S types love harmony and can be thrown when there is conflict or instability or where other types pull them into picking a side.  When things get done through conflict, S types can feel they’ve failed to live up their supportive or dependable image.

S types are strong at getting to know different people’s needs and wants and plotting pathways to ensure everyone gets something.  But they can worry a lot about finding the perfect sweet spot and distracted in energy searching for one that might never exist.

S types are also likely to give the credit for anything to someone else.  They are typically humble and have great difficulty accepting credit for any achievements and more likely to pass the compliment to others – shucks I couldn’t have done any of it without my good colleague here.

Pitted against a D type, you’ll likely retreat into the shadow, scanning the horizon for ways you can pour oil on troubled water without the D-type noticing or getting upset.   You may struggle also with I-types for whilst they are sociable in nature, you see their craft as disingenuous, saying what it takes to get people on board rather than truly meeting needs.

If you are an S type then practicing self-compassion and forgiveness is crucial.  Finding some trusted friends of colleagues who can help you understand your true strengths and also put the things you need to work on in a neutral context can also be valuable.

C is for conscientious

If you’re a C your strength lies in being conscientious.  On a good day you’re analytical, detail oriented, prized for and take pride in accuracy.   Sometimes you can share the same desire of D-types to question what others are telling you.

Whereas D types are focussed on whether the person is trustworthy, you’re focussed on whether the solution and the idea is sound.  You’re likely to have a strength in being objective and analytical.  But setting you apart from the D-types you’re also diplomatic.  

You’re likely to be a reflector, absorbing and learning as you go, taking pride in your competency and being seen by others as competent.

And this can be what trips you up.  On your bad days you can be over-hard on yourself, set unrealistic expectations.  There are times when fatalistically you reflect that some situations are impossible simply because there is no perfect or flawless answer out of the situation.

Things half done or even 80% done come hard.  And you can find yourself sweating over details only to find later that people really didn’t care much about them.  That can make you frustrated and a little angry with folk who don’t try as hard as you, wing their way through situations, hide stuff under the carpet and get all the glory.

When things are uncertain you’re at your least comfortable because you can’t be in command of everything.  Even though you pride yourself on competence, when you’re feeling out of your depth, you’ll be the last to ask for help because help is a sign of weakness and sharing things that are less than perfect is difficult to tolerate.

As a C type your fear may be being exposed for not being sufficiently knowledgeable.  You create high standards for yourself, often including measures that are hard to live up to.   If truth be told you know that you set expectations higher than others have of you.   In theory it’s because even if you miss slightly, you’ll still come out on top.  The downside is you beat yourself up for the miss even if others don’t really care.

Feedback is often construed as criticism and questioning of your competence.

The trick for you as a C type is to reframe your sense of perfection.   Work a little harder on clarifying people’s expectations and meeting these rather than aiming to constantly exceed against your own idealised view.  You can choose to see things you don’t know as things you don’t know YET.    Feedback is a way of making the end solution better.  Mistakes are part of a learning process and a sign you’re pushing boundaries.

Remember it’s what you do from mistakes that really counts.

And the really good news

Imposter Syndrome thrives in a space of self-doubt and guilt.   Behind most of what we fear lies an innate strength that is overplayed.

Compassion for yourself and towards others is key to diffusing imposter syndrome before it gets hold.   Disrupting the unhelpful thinking patterns that often take hold.

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome is won by learning to focus on the process not just the outcome.   Appreciating your own efforts and perseverance to overcome it and learning to acknowledge and accept your own achievements, the way you’re valued by others.

About DISC assessments

DISC is just one model, but one that’s easy to understand and easy enough to find assessments you can take online.

Like many things you can explore online, there’s often the risk of inexpert interpretation that instead of leading to progress actually creates more confusion.

I recognise in this article I am scratching the surface of what DISC can do for you.   If you’re curious to learn more about this model do reach out.   I’m qualified to debrief on DISC are are many great coaches I know who’d be happy to help.

www.ianbrowne.com