Beat imposter syndrome

What kind of imposter are you?

Most people have experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their adult life.  It creeps up in many forms.

You can feel imposter syndrome after getting a promotion or landing a great job – it’s that sudden turn around look at everyone else sense – I’m different, I’m not like these people, How did I get here and most importantly When will they find out I’m a fraud

You can feel imposter syndrome in the run up to a great opportunity – it’s that sense of dread that though you’re putting yourself forward, again people will figure out you’re not as great as you seem.  Those doubts you’ve in your head.  Yep, the board you’re presenting to are mind-readers and they will see straight through you.

You can also feel imposter syndrome when you’re not even up for promotion or landed the big job.  If you’ve ever been praised for something, recognised for doing great work and feel that discomfort – the please don’t put me on the pedestal because something’s going to go wrong

Some of the most impressive and amazing people can experience imposter syndrome.  Even after successfully publishing a book or featuring in a great movie, authors and actors can start a cycle of negative self-talk about their successive goal.

So if any of this sounds at all familiar you are in wide company.

Doctor Valerie Young from the Imposter Syndrome Institute has identified multiple versions or flavors of imposter syndrome.  This is why sometimes when you read articles about rich or famous or powerful people battling with imposter syndrome some will resonate with you more than others.  It’s not one thing.

See which of these you recognise in you.

Perfectionists have been brought up to believe in high standards, that’s OK and often admirable as a quality.  However perfectionists can experience self-doubt when things aren’t absolutely spot-on, when they are not on top of every detail even if it wasn’t their responsibility.  This super-high almost impossible standard creates the sense that if it can’t be met, maybe it’s not right to start at all.

In research women are significantly less likely than men to apply for jobs where they don’t have almost all the qualities listed in the job advert

Naturally gifted people can’t believe their luck when they find they can do things with ease.  They were top of their kindergarten class in maths, took to the piano with ease and can throw a ball like the best.   Being used to accepting natural gifts then becomes a struggle for some when they encounter a situation they can’t also excel in straight away.  It invokes a sense of being the fraud in other aspects of their life and creates self-doubt.

Solo riders have been raised believing there is no I in team but in the sense that if a goal is worth pursuing, if you can truly measure your self-worth and self-contribution then you have to do things alone because leaning on others is a crutch and a sign of weakness.  And becoming accustomed to working hard and pursuing lone pursuits, these folk when they encounter difficulty find it hard to involve others or to admit defeat.  For solo riders, projects that could be successful with a mid term adjustment or new perspective are driven into the dust because that determination and drive won’t let them enlist help or change course.

Experts have been brought up praised for their ability to acquire knowledge.   Competence for the expert is based on knowing everything.  People who don’t know their stuff are side-lined mentally for being ineffective.  Experts can struggle to absorb available knowledge around them because they are dismissive of the help from people who know more than them on certain subjects if not the totality.   Folk who believe in expertise are highly likely to discount themselves from job opportunities and get trapped in a vortex – I can’t apply until I know more about that space but I can’t know more about that space until I get into it.   As a result they stagnate and ironically their knowledge supremacy wanes anyway.

Superheroes love the adrenaline rush of wading in to save the day but they have unrealistic expectations of rescuing things all the time.  It’s an all or nothing approach – either this thing will execute perfectly or it is a disaster in the making.  A self-fulfilling prophecy that blocks them from being a good team-player instead of always being the leader, and fosters more disappointment than success.

How many of these traits do you recognise in yourself?   I can relate to bits of all of them.  And that’s the point really. 

Imposter syndrome isn’t just one thing, showing up in one way.  It’s a complex tapestry of learned experiences that are often ingrained in us before we had the power of words to explain them.  

And for the imposters when they are in the workplace, there are few truly safe and confidential hiding places to decipher these feelings.  That protective shield tends to prevent imposters from absorbing help even when it is all around them.

In one single article I am not going to be able to tell you how to cure your imposter syndrome but over a course of a series of articles I can decipher more about imposter syndrome and give you strategies to try out.

The first strategy is to recognise and admit that imposter syndrome is a construct created by you over time.   And so:

·        Unwinding something built over a long time does not get solved overnight

·        You are not to blame for your imposter syndrome but it is on you to own it

·        Recognising it’s both real in your head but not as visible to others

·        Positive habit formation is the best route forward

If you’re going to start at one place with imposter syndrome it is to recognise that feeling when it occurs.   Nine times out of ten only you can see imposter syndrome.  Others see the effects of it and can only puzzle why.   Only you can see inside your head.   But the imposter syndrome urge isn’t real even if it feels so in your head.

So for the next week when that imposter urge creeps up from your stomach up into your head, because yes these things are all connected, just stop.  

Taking two minutes to observe your breathing and slow it down.  Listen to your breaths in and out.  Feel the rise and fall of your stomach.  Notice the negative thoughts and close them down – this is not real.   Then refocus.   

Over time you’ll get sharper at noticing this and faster at arresting imposter syndrome before it takes hold.

Hope you’ve loved this article so much you'll share it with others.   If you want help conquering your own imposter here’s some info on the Positive Intelligence programme to build your mental fitness.  

It’s a six week challenge with a little bit of learning and practice every day coaching with a small group of fellow travellers to cure the imposter and reach new possibilities

10x your performance in six weeks. https://www.ianbrowne.com/challenge