Falling for the success trap

After the second world war, skyscrapers rose dramatically.  Success could be measured in how high up you were and whether you shifted from a cubicle to the corner office.

Shifting up a floor should have been enough.  Getting out of the cubicle should have been enough.   Getting a better car, living in a better house, moving to a better neighbourhood, getting a better holiday home.

In reality for many people the way in which we measure ourselves in comparison with others means it can never, ever be enough.

This may be true of you.  There may be times when you’ve done things that haven’t made you happy, or you’ve forgone things telling yourself that it’ll all be worth it in the end. 

But what if the end never comes?

Welcome to the world of VUCA

OK so today’s job market is very different to 1970s corporatism.  The rules of how to get along, how to progress, how to move forward aren’t so straightforward.  The view from the 24th floor might be desirable.  How to get there is more confusing than ever.

The environment is volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous.  So much so the US military coined an acronym for it – the VUCA environment.

We often think successful people are immune to Imposter Syndrome.  Far from it.  When executives were asked to rank 40 activities that were helpful to unhelpful for their personal health and wellbeing, only ‘being sick in bed’ ranked lower than ‘being in work’.

In Europe there is a mandated maximum number of hours someone is meant to work a week.  This was established based on medical evidence of the impact of excessive hours on cardio vascular disease and cancer.   It’s quite common for executives to sign contracts personally waiving this health protection in order to land a role, even if it shortens their life.

The success trap

And this health dilemma is just the start of the success trap.  With considerably less job certainty than ever before we have to look after ourselves, our own marketability.   So many people have multiple jobs. 

This could literally be delivery groceries in the evening.  But even at corporate level, many are involved in networking beyond their company, cultivating their reputation, being known to others, taking on non-exec director roles to boost credibility and board room experience.

Research from Penn’s Wharton School shows a loose link between wealth and emotional happiness at a surprisingly low value.   Beyond $100,000 US, happiness plateaus.  It’s not clear why.  But it’s thought beyond a level of income that provides for a comfortable lifestyle, everything else is discretional – and it’s in the directional spend that we compare ourselves with others, the car, the house, the kids in private school – which private school.  And so on.

And this is what Amina Aitsi-Selmi calls The Success Trap. 

Self-sabotaging our way to success

Imposter Syndrome thrives in reminding us we’re different to everyone else.

So if you’ve making it to the 24th floor, you’re going to be working with people who’ve been there for longer, know the rules of the floor more than you do, have different things and experiences to you.

Imposter Syndrome is a cruel liar.  It will tell you these are the things that make you unworthy to be there.  It’ll tell you others will see straight through you.  It’ll insist you’re not deserving of the trust others have placed on you.

But it’s focussing not on your skills and talents, it’s focussing mostly on extrinsic things and how you’re different to everyone else.

At this fork in the road, the majority believe the path to success is to emulate what they see around them.  A few will brave it out trying to be two people at the same time – by day a successful corporate person living life to the full on the 24th.  By night, something else.  That’s even harder.

A tiny number will trust in themselves.  That intrinsic value brought them to this floor.  That their difference is an asset, a position of power, an insight no-one else can bring. 

The others will divert their energy to things that aren’t going to improve their productivity or performance and will either exhaust themselves trying or at one point finally succumb to Imposter Syndrome.

Self-sabotage thrives on three fallacies.

If you’re wondering why people fall for this every time, it’s because as humans we tend to fall, no matter how senior we are – and yes there are plenty of case studies if we look at political leaders of every colour and hue, in different parts of the world – for three fallacies.

The sunk cost fallacy is one known by many business leaders in a commercial context even if they don’t practice it on themselves.  Sunk cost fallacy tempts us to continue pursuing a path that we know has been unproductive – because we’ve invested so much in it.

It shifts our perspective of loss from what we’re continuing to pour into a job that’s getting us nowhere into staying put because we’ve already put so much effort in to it.

The age norm fallacy is one that we all fall for until we reach a certain age and then know it was all ****.   Age norm fallacy tells us that our talents, wisdom and worth is based on having reached certain yardsticks by certain ages.

Possibly in medieval times when people died off in their 30s there was some wisdom to using every precious year.  But with portfolio careers and people taking time off for sabbaticals, raise families we know that age is an imperfect predictor of talent.

Hey you might even know some folk senior in age who are brighter, more energetic, more perceptive and more connected with society than people half their age.   But the age norm fallacy leads us to believe that if we’ve not achieved something by a certain age then this aspect of life is lost to us forever.

The social pressure fallacy leads us to judge ourselves by the social expectations of people like us, usually based on our material wealth and possessions.   These of course have nothing to do with our talent, our capability or what we can deliver for the world.

Social pressure fallacy has always been around.  You can study exterior decorative habits of roman senators on buildings in Rome to see how unnecessary and costly adornments were added to buildings solely to show that one could build it.

Today we have social media to remind us daily of how we might rank against others and know our place.   Like the other fallacies, it’s a distraction that undermines our potential and our performance.

Success can be found on any floor

If the view from the corner office on the 24th floor is important to you, be my guest.

The reality is that success is relative and personal to each of us.  And therefore, success can be found on any floor we like.  It’s our choice.

Whatever floor you’re aiming for the maxim is still true – overcoming self-sabotage is the fastest and most effective way to improving your performance, your productivity & career success however you define it.

And the VUCA environment gives you tons of opportunities.  Because we don’t all work in skyscrapers.  People are being successful in a basement as well as above the clouds.  There are few jobs that will look or feel in five years’ time to be anything like they do today.  That’s an opportunity if you choose to see it this way.

Imposter Syndrome will tell you that your success is conditional on being like someone else.

It’s the ultimate lie.

How can I help you take your foot off the brake pedal?

In my coaching I’ll often be asked what productivity tips you can offer, how can I improve my performance, my productivity.  How can I ask more of my team when they’re working long hours already.

But as fast as we’re pedalling, we have one foot on the brake.  Things we’re doing that sabotage our success.  Sometimes things we’re not even aware of.

That’s why I use the Positive Intelligence methodology in my coaching.  Changing your operating system so that you act smarter no matter the context or situation.   Trusted by over half a million people and with changes to thinking that MRI scanners can detect in weeks.

However fast or far you want to travel in your career, you know you’ll not get there with one foot on the brake.  

Take action

You can’t fix what you don’t know.  Click below to take your free saboteur assessment.

There’s no obligation to take this further.  If you want to go it alone, that’s OK.

Overcoming self-sabotage is the fastest and most effective way to impove your productivity, performance and ultimately your career success.

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